A couple of half-assed soldiers-of-fortune meet their match when they team up with a sketchy maybe-missionary in central Africa while trying to rip off an American Christian evangelist’s blood diamonds. The world is but a stage, and some of the players want to mangle parts of the scenery.
lyrics
Ray stole radios from small airplanes down in Texas
sold them in South America for a time
He brought back cocaine in small figurines of Jesus
did a lot of lines on the side
CHORUS:
When your moment comes
you better be ready to ride
and when that moment comes...
Then things got hot and Ray decided it was time to travel
he'd give the middle east a try
Ray first met Robert in a coffee house in Cairo
shared a lump of hash on the side
Bob made his first kill as a child soldier in Uganda
he had a lot on his mind
CHORUS
Bob had a toke, savoured the smoke and
laughed at Ray and told him
the crazy shit he had in mind
"There's this loudmouth christian preacher
flying diamonds out of Zaire
I'd like to take him for a ride
we could snatch his rocks and his fake Kimberly certificates
and I could sell 'em in a heartbeat
take his guns and plan besides (you're a pilot, right?)"
Ray radioed this missionary they'd heard of in
Congo who spoke Navajo and she said, in Navajo,
"I can take you to that big metal bird, but you gotta get me
a fake passport, an international driver's license,
a small lead box painted camouflage, and, oh yeah,
get me the hell out of here and up to
Niger when this is all over."
So thirteen days later Ray and Bob drove a stolen
Land Rover into Kinshasa
to meet up with the scrawny, bald, "missionary" Liz
When Liz jumped in Ray noticed that she had a tattoo --
a swastika on her thigh...Ray wondered
what is this skinhead nazi pseudo-missionary
doing in Africa on this ride
CHORUS
They found the plane it looked deserted
things seemed way too quiet
Bob and Ray ran inside
There were no stinking diamonds on that plane
only the smell of death and gasoline.
Liz blocked the door, torched the bird
hot wired the rover and tore off with a twisted laugh
as Bob and Ray screamed inside the burning plane.
Liz had the diamonds in her backpack,
drool ran down her chin
Liz was spotted tearing out of Abu Dhabi
headed up the road to Dubai
driving a '67 Caddy Eldorado
a suitcase nuke by her side
CHORUS
She prayed to Jesus chugged a beer
and gunned the engine
and then, that girl went for a ride
yeah she went for a ride
a twisted unholy ride
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